I depend and rely way too much on them. They gave me courage, motivations because we feel like that we're on the same boat. Even they remembered my birthday date better compared to my in real life friends. I don't blame my so called irl friends though. I'm just the one that is not good with socialising.
Ustaz Kazim Elias said (direct translate) ;
There are 3 types of people in this world :-
a) when you're there, people likes you. when you're not there, they'll be worried and restless. Like our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w
b) when you're there, people hate, dislike you. when you're not there, they'll be happy and relieved
c) no one cares whether you're around or not
Which group are you in?
But then I realized. Do my existence is actually knowledgeable to them? What and how'd they react when I disappeared suddenly from this vast world? Will they worry about me, think about me? Who am I to them?
Those are the questions that always stay in my head and kept unanswered.